The Perfect Government

What is the ideal government, you ask? There is an obvious answer. Benevolent Dictatorship. America should have picked up on this idea a long time ago. Who needs presidents when you can have a nice guy as a dictator? Exactly. No corrupt politicians like in a democracy. Just one guy, looking out for his fellow people and doing what he needs to do to keep them happy and loyal. Who is this guy? Nate Sawtelle.

There are many reasons why other forms of government have not worked. The two big ones, democracy and communism, both have several problems. The main problem, however, is corruption within the parties in charge. In a benevolent dictatorship, the leader would have the power to get rid of the corrupt people.

Here’s a real life example of a benevolent dictatorship working extremely well.

Here’s how it would work:

-The Dictator would not interfere with people’s everyday lives or natural freedoms.

-The Dictator gets to ride a tamed lion wherever he goes. Or any other animal or form of transportation he wants.

-Decisions will be made by the Dictator, but only after talking things over with his 10 most trustworthy friends at a round table while smoking cigars.

-Everyone is equal, regardless of race, gender, social class, etc.

-Everyone has freedom of speech.

-There will be no homeless people. All homeless people will be granted a month of free living in a hotel in the hopes that they find a job.

-Any and all amounts of Marijuana are legal and even encouraged. Nice.

-Population would be controlled by highly recommending that women only have 2 kids. If they have a third, they will be taxed more and their hospital bills will be higher than for the first two.

-Workers would be required to save 20% of their salary per month, and they can only access it when they retire. Also, employers will match that 20% and send it to the government to be used for public needs.

-Christianity will be the official religion of the land, but other religions are permitted.

-To prevent pollution, there will be a $200 fine on littering. $300 if they litter in a lake or river.

-Cigarettes are completely illegal and the punishment for possession is death. Mostly because I hate the creepy, disgusting commercials about people who ruined their bodies by smoking. Absolutely hate them.

-Abortion will be illegal and anyone who argues about it will go to jail.

-Protests are illegal. If someone disagrees, they can gather facts and evidence to bring before hired officials, the 10 trustworthy friends, or if he’s feeling up to it, Nate Sawtelle himself. If it is a solid, well prepared case, the issue will be discussed again and if the 10 advisors unanimously agree, it will be changed.

-It’s very efficient since decisions are made quickly by the leader.

-The drinking age would be lowered to 18 since nearly every 18 year old has already drank by that age anyways. 18 is also the age that people are allowed to posses and use marijuana. Punishments for under aged drinking and use/possession of marijuana will  be the revocation of a drivers license for a month.

-Driving drunk or under the influence of a drug is illegal and the punishment is that the person will not be allowed to purchase or use alcohol or marijuana for the rest of their life.

-Of course, no taxes

So there it is. The perfect government.